Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Insatiable me

I was 24, married with 3 year old and one year old boys, before I applied for college.  What propelled my decision, at that particular time, you may ask?  And my honest answer would be, boredom.  I wasn't bored being a parent.  I wasn't bored staying home and playing during the day, and working part time at night.  I was bored with myself.  I felt the need to push myself to learn and grow, to be challenged.  After parenting for 3 years, I figured I had that down.  Time to try something new.  This is a pattern that continues to be played out in my life.  I get restless.

After receiving acceptance into an undergraduate program, I also found out I was pregnant with my third child.  Surprise!  Once the shock dissipated, I decided that even being pregnant wouldn't stop me from my new adventure.  I was 8 months pregnant in my first summer class. Yes, it was awkward.  I took 4 classes in the fall, when my daughter was 5 weeks old.  My husband worked some sort of alternative schedule, which after all these years my fried mind fails to fully remember.  Anyhow, we made it work; for a year anyway.  Being a full time student and having 3 young children was incredibly overwhelming.  I was no longer bored, but I needed a change nonetheless.

I took a break from school for a couple of years, then went back for another year.  Got a full time job, mastered it, got bored, saw I had no future without a degree, went back to school again... This time however, I was determined to graduate.  I was getting old!  After the fastest 2 years of my life, I finally graduated.  But here I am again, less than a year of graduating, I feel the need for another transition.  I'm working 50 hours a week in retail sales (isn't this what I went to school to avoid?).  I continue to learn and be challenged regularly, yet it's not enough.  I know it will inevitably become routine, and easy, and boring.  My restless nature haunts me.  Content, I am not.

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